Dude I fucking feel it, I got through all my shit alone and all the people I've gotten close close to ended up fucking me over, so it's for sure hard to give people a chance if you have bad memories. Sometimes life is fun with people and festivals and other things people apparently do with friends (wouldn't know lmao) but sometimes solitude is also really cool and being in nature alone with just animals or getting on rides fast at an amusement park because single rider haha I think it's all about balance (something I still can't figure out how to do) But hey now you have your own little community on here so you won't be totally alone and now you know you've got people that listen and care and are struggling right there with you! haha (I realize I somehow always write long ass shit so that's my bad) I like your vids though even if you are just chillin on the floor trisha paytas stye xD
been struggling with feelings like the ones you described. Hermit has been my thing upon realizing how much peace comes from dealing with things on my own. Was too trusting with others in the past & suffered betrayals that resulted in abandonment/commitment issues. Now I'm at this point where I feel I indulged the pain too long & am ready to put myself out there again. Ive never had a relationship last longer than a few years tho, not even friendships. So scary to surrender my vulnerabilities to strangers who might decide I'm trash when they cease to understand me. I started making videos hoping it might encourage the small part of me that wants to share my weird self with the world, regardless of the consequence.